then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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