I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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