bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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