he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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