perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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