Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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