we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
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But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
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I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
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