I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
