I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
