I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
