Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
