with your own penis?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
