she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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