would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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