Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
