dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
