Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize