Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
