Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
So squirting runs in the family.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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