better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
