he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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