Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
