I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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