Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
