he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Michael Bay diarrhea
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
