got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
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