He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
