So drunk its hurt
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
