okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Randomize
