it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
