belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize
