Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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