Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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