Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
