the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it was like eating out sand paper
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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