She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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