The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize