apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
