WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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