i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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