I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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