I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
