I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
