Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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