That's intense
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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