Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
