i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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