Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
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It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize