Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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