she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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