My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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