I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
