Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
