Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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