I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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