Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
the liver wants what the liver wants
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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