I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
