I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
