We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
