Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
