It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
