My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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