I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize