My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
