Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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