saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
