Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
